We all have our strengths and weaknesses. We know what we're good at and what we're not so good at. So why is it that so many people seem to think they can do everything themselves? Instead of asking for help or admitting that they need assistance, they try to figure it all out on their own. This sounds like a three or four word story doesn’t it? That story often goes “I don’t need help” or “because I can” with no real basis or reasoning. Why is this such a common mindset? And is there any way to change it? Let’s explore these thoughts together.
What is the "I can do it all" mindset and why is it so common?
The "I can do it all" mindset is so common because it's often praised and reinforced. We live in a society that values independence and self-reliance. So when someone tries to do everything themselves, they're often praised for their strength and determination. And when they fail, they often feel ashamed and embarrassed. This can create a vicious cycle where people are afraid to ask for help, even when they need it.
Is there any way to change this mindset?
Yes, there is definitely a way to change this mindset. We need to start by acknowledging that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It's actually a sign of strength. When we admit that we need help, we're admitting that we're not perfect and that we're willing to do whatever it takes to get better. We also need to create a culture where it's okay to ask for help. This means teaching our children that it's okay to ask for help when they don't know something, and that it's okay to be vulnerable. When we change the way we think about help, we can start to change the way we think about ourselves.
Because I can
“Because I can” syndrome is one of if not the most used terms of the past several years. Why? The internet and more specifically Google YouTube have armed the world with information. The interesting piece is that information isn’t necessarily education. It’s not much different than education of the past, just that it’s a bit quicker to access. You can have all the information but still not be an expert or simply not have the time. When we put that kind of context you can stop as it may truly be something you CAN do. Can you change a toilet? Possible. Can you bake a cake? Absolutely. Can you perform a suture procedure of a gapping wound? Now you’ve taken notice huh? So the question is....where do we draw the line?
There are all types of experts in the world, some that know how to change a light bulb and some that can change your life. When we need help outside of our realm of expertise we ought to seek it. It doesn’t show weakness to ask for directions or even a recipe. It only becomes an issue when our ego gets in the way and we believe that we should be able to figure it out because “I can.”
The truth is, no one can do it all by themselves. We all need help from time to time. And that's okay! Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows that you're willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. So next time you're feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for help. It's the smart thing to do.
I Don't Need Help
“I don’t need help” is its own phenomenon. There are various reasons people would tell this story(in literal and figurative terms). For them it may be an embarrassing issue or situation, they just don't want it to be known what they’re experiencing. There’s the possibility it’s due to a lack of faith in people...you know when you’ve been let down by others so you just stop asking overall. And then there are those who have become accustomed to handling everything on their own because they’ve had to. This could be due to a traumatic experience that has led to this being the story they tell themselves.
The latter is often the case for people who suffer from anxiety and depression. They’ve been through so much in their lives that they’ve become used to handling everything by themselves. They think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. But the truth is, it's not. Asking for help is a sign of strength. It shows that you're willing to do whatever it takes to get better. So if you're feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for help. Your mental health is worth it.
What are the consequences of these mindsets on our mental health and wellbeing?
When we try to do everything ourselves, we often feel overwhelmed and stressed. We're constantly trying to juggle too many things at once, and we never seem to have enough time. This can lead to anxiety and depression. And when we're constantly telling ourselves that we don't need help, we're actually isolating ourselves from the people who could help us. This can be particularly harmful for people with mental health issues.
So why is it so hard to ask for help?
There are a few reasons why it's hard to ask for help. First of all, we often feel ashamed or embarrassed. We think that we should be able to handle everything on our own, and we don't want people to think of us as weak or incompetent. Secondly, we're afraid of getting rejected. We're afraid that the person we ask won't be able to help us, or that they'll say no. And finally, we're afraid of being judged. We think that people will think less of us if we admit that we need help.
But the truth is, asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It's actually a sign of strength. When we admit that we need help, we're admitting that we're not perfect and that we're willing to do whatever it takes to get better. We also need to create a culture where it's okay to ask for help. This means teaching our children that it's okay to ask for help when they don't know something, and that it's okay to be vulnerable. When we change the way we think about help, we can start to change the way we think about ourselves.
How can we change our thinking to be more open to asking for help when we need it?
When it comes to asking for help, many of us find ourselves stuck in one of two mindsets: "I can do everything myself" or "I don't need help." These mindsets keep us from getting the support we need, both mentally and emotionally.
So how can we change our thinking to be more open to asking for help when we need it? One way is to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It's actually a sign of strength. When we admit that we need help, we're admitting that we're not perfect and that we're willing to do whatever it takes to get better. We also need to create a culture where it's okay to ask for help. This means teaching our children that it's okay to ask for help when they don't know something, and that it's okay to be vulnerable. When we change the way we think about help, we can start to change the way we think about ourselves.
When we try to do everything ourselves, we often feel overwhelmed and stressed. We're constantly trying to juggle too many things at once, and we never seem to have enough time. This can lead to anxiety and depression. And when we're constantly telling ourselves that we don't need help, we're actually isolating ourselves from the people who could help us. This can be particularly harmful for people with mental health issues.