Love Doesn’t Die With Death
There’s so many things that can be said for death. Keep reading while I unpack a few. Hopefully, at the end of this reading we will provide clarity in such a dark space.
Death sucks. Period. No matter how or when it comes. I often tell people death sucks, sudden death sucks more because you were blindsided, you had no idea your last words were your last and suicide sucks even more because it adds a feeling that you should have known or been able to do something. The fact is they all suck. You get the point, I’m going to try and limit my use of suck for the rest of this....while I figure out how to do that can you take a moment to ponder on reasons it sucks so much? We’ll come back to that.
No Escape
The most interesting thing about death is that it’s the only absolute in life. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. It doesn’t respect accomplishments. It cannot be bribed away for all the money in the world. It also has no concern for age, sex, race and ethnicity. If you are living(as you are because you’re reading) you know that not only will you die but everyone you know will as well. We all know this little detail yet most of us are still effected in negative way when confronted with death. Some more adversely effected than others.
Grief could become mental illness
What do I mean when I say some more adversely than others? Grief is grief right? Research shows there are stages to grief. In fact, most studies say there are seven stages. Though everyone may not experience them all, what happens if you stall at any one of them? Your mind behinds to shift, essentially warp into a different reality. If you sit with shock/disbelief, denial, guilt, anger, depression/loneliness/reflection and don’t work through or what I call process you’ve likely developed the beginning stages of mental illness. If you jump right to acceptance there just may be a disconnect there as well(revisit denial). Don’t panic, mental illness isn’t some horrible word or death sentence but you should know it can be developed. Happened to me that way. The good news is same way it can be developed it can be healed!
How to heal
The healing comes in processing and understanding. For starters you now understand something is going on internally and you may need help moving forward. Additionally, we just dive deeper into why death and grief threw us off in the first place. I believe at the core, it’s a pure reminder of how human we are. The fact that you have no control or say is enough to tip the scales on anyone. Just let me come to your house the next few days and tell you what you can eat or wear....WWHAT?! No way, I have choices.....well you have no choice regarding death. But the grief, that’s a little different. That’s also a sign of humanity. We miss the person we want to talk, laugh or even cry with and that produces emotions. Think about that, it’s a great thing! In a world filled with processes, technology, hatred, poverty, and a ton of other things it’s a good reminder that we are all human beings. We have emotion that we don’t often show or let loose. We are able to experience a range of emotions but no one without the other. You know sadness and in this case grief because you knew love. I’ll leave you with this, love doesn’t die with death. Once that sets in, I believe you’ll be well on your way to recovery. Not only in dealing with this death but in your view of the world around you.